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This week I had the pleasure of speaking with Katrina Lelli, spiritual guide and transformation coach, about connection and finding the magic within throughout your fertility journey.
About Katrina
Cassie: Welcome back to the Fertility Witch podcast. I am so excited today, which is I am so proud today I have with me Katrina Lolly, a very special guest who is a spiritual life sky that helps women who are beginning their own spiritual journey. She is passionate about guiding women back to their truth, to let go of the deeper blocks and to create an alignment, the life they actually deserve, a desire.
Katrina has become the expert in creating true transformation in your own life. She’s also the host of the Magic Within podcast. She’s a wife, mom of three, and a step mom. She is proud to be breaking generational chains of being stuck in a self influenced prison and helping others to do the same. Welcome, Katrina. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you for being here. I’m so excited to talk to you about just how you got into this work and just some advice that you can give some other women out there who are dealing with infertility today. I think we’re going to leave with some very powerful insights from you.
Katrina: Yeah, definitely. So it’s been a journey of mine for the last twelve years, if I’m quite honest, and that’s when I first really had my first real spiritual awakening and was when I stepped into the rooms of recovery and started doing the inner work on myself and overcoming alcoholism, stepping into sobriety, which started the healing of my body from within. And I didn’t really understand that until more recently after being on my journey, going through finding myself in recovery, but still in that search for more, finding myself in personal development rooms, seminars, doing more work.
But it wasn’t until I came upon my most recent mentor coach, who really started to teach me what it meant to be in my feminine, realizing I was operating more so in my masculine for the last 30 plus years that fight to survive, and taking me on an even deeper healing journey that got me out of my head and into my body. And I discovered there is so much power in our bodies and really paying attention to our bodies and myself. I’ve always believed in a greater power in God, like there’s a power greater than myself.
But working on cultivating that connection has been really my work over the last few years in understanding that even more and healing my body from the inside out and how that manifests and how that shows up in my life, how it shows up in my relationship, how it shows up in my physical health and in my own joy and my own happiness. And that’s what really the last couple of years have been more so focused on. And I’ll tell you, it was not easy for me to step into this space because I didn’t want to slow down, because my thought process was if I do more than I’m good enough, if I just work harder than I’m good enough. And that creates so much stress in our bodies, that creates so much stress in our lives. We see it outside of us, and we don’t always recognize that it’s also going on within us.
And so learning how to really tune into my own body, tune in and cultivate my connection through very simple things, which don’t seem so simple because it’s really a changing way of your being, has created just this beauty, this deep connection with my higher power, with my source, with the energy of the world, with universe, whatever it is you want to call it. And that deep self love and feeling my body even heal from different little ailments, and having the energy that I never thought I would have before has been so incredibly powerful and exciting for me.
Cassie: That’s truly amazing. You’ve been through it sounds like just a lot. You’ve done so much inner work on yourself, and now you’re able to bring all that you’ve learned to other people and help them transform their lives. And I think that’s such a beautiful thing to do. And so often we are looking for external ways to heal us, whether that’s from a mental emotional place or a physical place. But so often we’re not looking inward enough to heal our own minds and our bodies. So the fact that you were able to do that in your own recovery is just really amazing. You touched on so many different points that I think are going to be just so amazing to talk about.
So the first thing oh, my gosh, so you came into being a spiritual life coach. And I personally don’t feel like a religious person. I’m not sure if I would even call myself a deeply spiritual person, but I know that it can have such amazing impacts on us, on our minds and our bodies. And I know there’s so many people out there who are dealing with infertility and struggling with getting pregnant, are really relying on their spirituality to help guide them through this journey.
Finding Connection
Cassie: So what is something that you think they can do to help deepen some of that spirituality and that connection that they’re so relying on to help give them comfort throughout this process?
Katrina: Yeah, definitely. And this is what I love about talking to other women and finding out where they come from and what they are. And I never wanted to be put in a box when it came to what I believed. I’ve experienced different religions and different ways of being. And for me, it’s like, do not put me in a box. Do not tell me what to believe. This is my connection, and I just know that there is a connection, and I have many different beliefs. I believe in God and angels and guides. There’s all these different things. And that’s the beauty about spirituality, is it’s all encompassing.
It doesn’t matter what you believe. Just knowing that there’s a connection and that we have a connection with everything around us, the trees, the birds, the animals, like all of the things nature, you’ll hear me talk about nature. Nature is like my homegirl. She’s where I feel the most connected. One of the most profoundly shifting tools for me was breath work because it really gets you into your body and there’s different aspects of breath work. And I’ve done breath work where you’re just sitting here and you’re breathing and you’re breathing in for four and you’re holding it for four and you’re letting it out for four.
Just practicing that circular motion brings you right here, right now, calls the nervous system, gets you really tuned in and present with your body what’s coming up, where is it feeling. To really more powerful breath work sessions where you’re laying down and you’re breathing in and out really hard for 20 40 minutes, depending on the class that you’re sitting in. And that brings a huge lot more powerful impact on the body and it really shifts the energy that’s going on. And you can direct your breath towards like if you’re feeling stuck somewhere. I often get stuck in my right hip and so I can send that energy down in there and move that energy out of my right hip by focusing my breath and kind of pushing it down in there. But people have profound experiences with breath work.
With that kind of breath work I started with, his name is Wim HOF, you can find him on YouTube and he does breath work. That’s where I started until my own mentor taught me other modalities at breath work. But breath work is a really powerful tool for healing the body from the inside out, can reduce stress and anxiety, it resets the nervous system, it can help move stuck energy in your body.
And so I highly recommend breath work, especially if you’re on a fertility journey. Sometimes what is creating this difficulty in us doesn’t need an outside solution. It needs the power that we hold within. And the most powerful tool that we hold within ourselves is our breath. And we forget that and we under utilize that. Just taking the moment to breathe, like breathe, just breathe in this moment and allowing that energy to shift through you. Definitely meditation, and I know many people are like, I can’t do meditation, I was that person. I fought meditation for years and some days I still find it. So I listen to guided meditation and I find short ones that are usually like 15 minutes that’s short to me. And when you’re in a meditation, let your mind wander.
Meditation
Meditation is not meant to silence your mind. We’re not those people who can just have clear, absolutely nothing going on in our minds. But you allow your mind to wander and bring it back and just when you notice it’s wandering, bring it back to okay, I’m present now, here I am I’m present now. I’m present now. And just like refocusing, but meditation and paired with that is like visualization, getting really clear on what you want to experience, what do you want your journey to look like, and then what do you want the end result to look like? And the more that we can bring that in, the more it gets set into ourselves, into our beingness. And that’s what brings it to life. Both of those modalities get us really connected, really connected into ourselves. The connection and trusting in that the universe, the greatest source, want us to experience all that life has to offer.
Managing Stress During Infertility
And it builds that trust. And this is where many people get hung up, because in that trust piece, is this actually going to work for me? And if we don’t know until we start practicing it and it feels uncomfortable at first, our mind is like, this is really stupid. Is this actually going to work until it becomes a way of being or until we have that profound experience like you can have with meditation or breath work. And it builds that trust in that way of being. And stress is a huge indicator in our health, right? Stress blocks us from experiencing so many things and so breath work, meditation, visualization.
But we don’t put enough into just getting outside. And if you can get outside, where it’s true nature and just going for a walk with no agenda except, I’m going to go for a walk, don’t even listen to music. Listen to the sounds that are going on around you. Going for a walk in nature is a huge reducer of that stress. And if you can this is something that I do regularly as I take my shoes off and I go outside in my backyard and I ground. It’s my most favorite way to just get grounded and connected in walking around in my backyard. Sometimes I’ll play some music and dance. Sometimes I just sit down and I put my hands in the grass. That gives us really grounded.
But those are some really simple, easy ways to just start practicing. And you’ll notice a difference in the way that you feel that day. None of these practices will necessarily sustain you because you can’t rely on my coach always says, I can’t rely on what I did this morning to get me through this afternoon. So finding simple ways to ground and connect myself, remembering the pause, lighting the candle, and when you light that candle, just like, thank you, thank you, like taking a moment because it brings us back to the present. And when we’re on our journeys, we’re always focused on what’s not working, what’s going to happen. Like, we’re in the future. We’re so worried. Instead of, where am I at? I’m right here. Like, I’m right here right now. And right here right now. I’m healthy, I’m happy, I’m safe. I’m taking care of that’s. When we remember those things. And that’s what helps reduce that anxiety, reduce that stress, because we’re always like, in the future going, oh, my God, what’s going to happen? This isn’t working.
Cassie: All of the things, especially through something dealing with something like infertility which the stress of dealing with that can cause chronic stress and then chronic stress is going to then, unfortunately, mess up more of our reproductive hormones and all the hormones in our body, because then we’re getting so much more cortisol and adrenaline in our systems and being able to take these mindfulness techniques and bring them into our everyday and having various techniques to use, not just relying on just one to see us through our whole days, through our whole journeys and having so many different techniques in our toolkit for that has got to be so helpful. And that’s amazing that you are such an advocate for grounding in that way and finding that connection between the self and the spirit and the earth. And going outside and just putting my feet on the grass is one of my favorite things to do, too. Yeah, there’s something I just need to feel green grass under my feet, and I just squish my toes in there, and I just take a few moments to just exhale and just have a breath. That breath work that has gotten me through some of the hardest times of my life. And it works. It does. It’s powerful.
Looking Within
Katrina: And we’re taught to look outside, look outside of ourselves for what’s to fix us, whether our significant others like, tell me I’m good enough. Tell me I’m okay, that’s great. But that’s like that bandaid. That’s like that putting a bandaid and not getting down under to the roof to heal what’s really going on to address what’s really going on. Absolutely. And I said this to my husband. You can tell me so and so great about myself as much as you want, but I have to believe it. I have to feel it. And that’s my responsibility in a way, to do things and do the inner work on myself to get there. And especially when it comes to feeling worthy about things, a lot of women who are trying to conceive feel like, okay, I’m not getting pregnant. Is this because I’m not worthy of getting pregnant? Because something is going wrong with me. And that can just be such a draining line of thought on your psyche, on you emotionally and mentally. So being able to bring it back to the present and have that sort of little mantra for yourself, that you are safe, that you are loved, that you are okay, that it’s not your fault. But a powerful thing to be able to give somebody.
Yeah. Those deep rooted fears, those deep rooted beliefs, the stories that we may not even know what the story is, but it could be a block for what’s going on. It could be a piece of that puzzle. And when we are in that thought process of, what’s wrong with me? Why is this happening to me? There could be something deeper going on. And this is what I help my clients do, is get down to the roots. What is the story? What is the block? What is the fear? What is the belief? And most of the time, it’s a belief we picked up when we were children. It was a belief, a story that something happened when we were kids and now it’s being carried forward into our life and manifested in a way that we’re like, why is this happening? How is this connected?
And it’s our job to go in and heal that and change that. Not fix it, but change that if we want to. If we want to.
Cassie: Yeah, be ready. Yeah, be ready and willing to do those things, because it is really hard work. It really is. It’s definitely hard work. And it’s the most rewarding. And so not going at it alone like you’re not supposed to. You’re not meant to go at it alone. And allowing somebody to come in and support you and guide you and love you is so empowering for yourself and so beautiful. And it will help you stay the course. It will help you stay the path. And that’s another thing that you also help women do, is how to lean into their intuition more and listen to themselves more than being able to navigate their path a little bit more.
Following Your Fertility Intuition
So how do you think we can also try to tap in more to our own intuition?
Katrina: Yeah, this one is like building a muscle. It’s really building the muscle of learning to trust what your intuition is and learning what that guidance is from the source you’re connected to. Versus what is my ego telling me? Because our ego wants to keep us safe. Our ego wants to keep us it doesn’t necessarily want to keep us small, but it tends to keep us small. And so to really start is to really listen to your thoughts. What are the things that are coming up? What are the things saying and questioning those things? Is this my ego? Is this what I really want to believe? Or is there a new story or is there something else that I want to believe? Is this my ego or is this like my highest self? Talking? So getting questions because they sound the same, right?
The voice sounds the same. It sounds like us. So it’s hard to kind of determine that. So you start with really getting aware of those thoughts and questioning them. And when you get those little pings that are exciting and you feel your body open, that’s your intuition. But when you feel your body closing and it’s kind of like, oh, no, that’s more so your ego. But when it’s more of a full body because fear and excitement are the same thing, they literally feel like the same thing in the body. But when you feel more open, that is your intuition. If it’s exciting, if it lights you up, if it brings you that joy, that’s your intuition. And so in order to build that for you to listen to it, you’ve got to go take action on what’s coming up. It doesn’t mean you take action right away.
Like if you get hit, like I’m supposed to write a book. You don’t have to write a book and have it out within a week, but notice it. This sounds really exciting to me. And the more you listen to it, the more you take action on it. Usually it’s in little things like go for a walk or it’s like reach out to this person or say something to this person, or whatever it is. Go take a bath, whatever it is. The more that you listen to that, the stronger your intuition will get. And know that you’re going to get confused sometimes. And know that when you get confused sometimes and you end up doing something and it doesn’t turn out like, oh, there was something for me here to learn, what am I to understand about this? Instead of like, oh, look at what I did, like pulling out the baseball bat and hitting yourself over the head. Just learning to build that muscle and it will get louder and you’ll be able to distinguish like, oh, this is my ego talking, this is my high self talking. This is my intuition and my connection.
Cassie: Yeah. And that’s so beautiful. That whole process is leading through a bunch of vines to find your own voice. Yes. And that’s the thing that one of the biggest things that I’ve learned here between is it coming from me or is it anxiety? And as somebody who struggles so much with anxiety and it echoes exactly what you just said. If it’s coming straight out of fear, this is anxiety.
And maybe that is just a part of me, but where is that really coming from? And what’s like my truth in that? And it’s really just sort of peeling away at different layers to find, again, metaphor on top of metaphor, bad storytelling on my part. Sorry everybody, but it’s true. It’s just sort of one of the best things that I’ve ever seen somebody say is to just your mind is going on and the best thing you can almost tell yourself to do is just go very simple, gently, compassionate to yourself. Don’t blame yourself for those thoughts or those beliefs. Because then that just, of course, re ups that cycle, right, yeah. Of just blame and guilt, but just being gentle and kind with yourself in that matter.
As you find your intuition, as you find your voice and your path in this journey, it’s just so important to just keep that in mind. And like you said about meditation, it’s not meant to just sit down and do it perfectly. No. As with anything else, you’re meant to sit there with the discomfort. That’s part of the exercise is sitting there and sort of being a little bit uncomfortable, but also being just mindful and just watching your thoughts. Low past. I’ve actually once talked to a potential client who was like, I tried meditating when I was trying to get pregnant and it just didn’t work. Okay, that’s great. That’s only one thing, right? That’s only one thing that we can do. And it’s not all encompassing and it is a practice like anything else. And it’s, again, like practice and progress over perfection and compassion over perfection as well.
Katrina: Yeah, absolutely. When you can look at it like, I’m processing this today, it becomes like a game and it gets to be fun. And like you said, love and compassion for yourself because you’re learning. You’re learning something new. You’re learning after however many years you’ve been alive on this earth, like, you’re not going to undo all of that in a matter of a few days or a few weeks. Yeah, that’s deep work. That’s going to take time, but it will be so worth it. Yeah, it’s worth it. And the coolest part is it’s like something you get to learn along the way on the journey. There’s no end destination, there’s no reward.
I encourage you to celebrate yourself when you have the wins, but there’s no tally. It opens you up and expands you more and more to experience this world in a new way. Yeah, it’s really beautiful and also just so important for the women out there who are feeling excited but nervous for their next IBS cycle or their next IUI or just the next month of trying, who are also hesitant to feel excited and hesitant to maybe feel joy in case of fear of being let down. And I think all of these practices really bring in, like you said, the openness and opening yourself to the joy, to also everything else that might come along with your journey, but learning how to deal with it with more compassion and gentleness for yourself and really finding strength and bad vulnerability. Yeah, thousand percent.
Follow Katrina
Cassie: So is there anything else that you wanted to talk about or bring up or anything that you have coming up for yourself?
Katrina: What comes up is no matter the journey that you’re on. And I know that just from witnessing others with the fertility journey, it can feel so defeating and it can feel so difficult. And I don’t want you to lose hope because if the vision is within you, it is for you. There may be something else for you to understand about your journey. And so get curious what is here for me to understand about this process, because it might be something that unlocks everything you’re looking for.
It might be something that someday you’ll share with somebody else in their journey. And it makes a difference for them, but know that you are truly being guided and you are truly being cared for. These visions do not come to us. If it’s in your vision to have this family, it’s meant for you and trust in that. And so show yourself a little more grace, a little more compassion, a little more love today, because I know you’re fighting so, so hard, and you might not have to fight so hard. You really more than likely don’t have to fight so hard.
Cassie: Thank you so much for all of your insight. I encourage everyone listening here today to go check out Katrina’s podcast, The Magic Within. Because every time I listen to it, just the whole time, I’m going, yes, this is right. Yes, I need this in my life. This is so true. Absolutely. And I come away all the time with just really beautiful insights that are so relevant to, I think, all of our lives. And you do such a wonderful service to not only your clients, but everyone who listens to your podcast.
Thank you so much for sharing that with me. You’re welcome. It really is a gift to people that you’re giving them. Thank you. It really is. And I’m so glad that I’m now like one of those people to receive those.
Katrina: Yes. I think else go check it out because Cassie was on my podcast. Yeah, she’ll be on there, too, so you’ll have to talk about an amazing conversation. Yeah, we had a dual recording session today. So much fun. Yeah, it is so much fun. And I can’t wait to share this with everybody. So where can everyone else find you on social media other than your podcast? Yeah, so I hang out on Instagram sometimes a little too much at Katrina a Le. I’m definitely over there. Or you can come join my Facebook group, the Sacred Roots Collective. Beautiful, light hearted women are in that space. Spiritually minded, but more than important. They’re just some of the most beautiful women who are walking the journey and looking for other women to do that with.
Cassie: That’s amazing. I’m going to go join that right now. Love that. Thank you so much for joining me. I can’t wait for everyone to hear this. And I appreciate your time and your wonderful, amazing insight.
Katrina: Thank you.